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Manj Bahra

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A plan for when those closest to you keep making the same painful mistakes

I care about my friends. I’m sure you do too. That’s why when I see them repeating the same mistakes that have previously led to hurt, I find it hard to sit and do nothing. This is especially true of relationships. I have several close companions, both men and women, who seem to date the wrong people continually.

Perhaps you can relate.

Maybe you have a friend or even a family member who has a habit of going after the wrong person. All you want to do is help because you don’t want to see someone you care about hurt…


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Self-esteem and worth are not earned — they are rediscovered

You’re only ever living in the feeling of your thinking — Michael Neil

Recently, I had the privilege of watching a young baby learn to walk. It was the culmination of weeks of trial and error. From crawling around with innate curiosity, she worked her way to standing, taking a few steps, falling, and getting back up again. Over time, the falls became less frequent, and soon she was able to walk.

When you think about it, it’s truly remarkable how babies go from commando crawls to strolling — all on their own.

But what’s even more incredible is that…


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The most overlooked factor in any transformation

When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth

— George Bernard Shaw

Throughout my coaching career, I’ve encountered 100s of people who have been looking to change their lives. It could be a business they want to start, a relationship they want to leave, or even a nasty habit they want to break. Many people who come to me feel stuck and as though they have tried everything. This often leads them to feel as though something is wrong with them or they are beyond help. Fortunately, this is rarely the case. …


Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

How you are in love has more of an impact than you think

Develop your senses- especially learn how to see. Realize that everything connects to everything else.” — Leonardo Da Vinci

Many of us go through life believing our problems are isolated to specific areas. When we face struggles in our career, we dust off our CV and scout for new opportunities or qualifications. If we don’t like the look of our bodies, we hire a trainer or search for the perfect routine/diet combination. It’s no surprise that when we face challenges in love, we believe it to be just another section of life that can be treated in its own context.


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The lessons I wish somebody had told me years ago

So, you want to work for yourself? Fed up of seeking approval for holiday, listening to your bosses crap and doing work you have no passion for? I don’t blame you. But that doesn’t make it any easier. See, there’s a small issue of paying the bills, saving money, and living a life that gets in the way for most of us.

And so you wait. You stay where you are, patiently collecting a pay-cheque, repeating your mundane routines, and wondering when life will happen for you. All the while, the tension begins to build quietly. …


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Sometimes all we need is common sense and a brutal reminder

We all like to believe that our crush secretly wants us. Despite what all the evidence says, we generally choose to put our faith in the outcome we want rather than the one that is most probable.

Who can blame us?

When we are deeply attracted to someone, our body is frequently flooded with Dopamine and thus exposed to euphoric highs similar to that of a hard drug. In many ways, falling for another person is an addiction. As I’ve written about before, the thrill of the chase is amongst the most intoxicating experiences out there. …


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Whether it’s a toxic relationship or unrequited love, here’s a proven method for taking action.

All of us face unrequited love at some point. It doesn’t matter whether it’s in a relationship or a one-sided crush; the result is the same — the other person does not feel the same way or treat us how we want to be treated.

If you scour the web, you’ll find 1000s of articles spouting the same advice. They tell you to know your worth and walk away from all that is causing you heartache. The only problem is none of these posts goes into detail about how to do that. …


A few weeks ago, a reader reached out to me with a powerful question:

“How can I tell if I’m in love or just simply addicted to the chase?”

The truth is, it’s hard.

Many of us correlate the strength of our feelings with the range and depth of emotions a person puts us through. We rationalize the reason we’re so fixated on the situation and experience such powerful sensations is a result of our deep affection, and sometimes love.

But what if that’s not the case?

What if the ingredients of the chase (uncertainty, highs, lows, anticipation) are enough…


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If you’ve been stuck trying to get over someone, check you can do this first

If you follow my writing on Medium, you’ll know I am extremely passionate about helping people move on and reach their potential. Part of why I dedicate so much of my energy to this is that we all go through the pain of rejection at some point. Moreover, it’s just plain hard to let go of someone we have feelings for. Sometimes the biggest blockers are dealing with the psychological forces at play, including mixed signals, dopamine highs, lack of closure, and in some cases, obsession (limerence). While all of that is real, we have to take action ourselves to…

Manj Bahra

Coach | Obsessed with helping people reach their potential | Londoner | More about me and free stuff here: https://liinks.co/manjbahra |

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