Photo by Andres Molina on Unsplash

Feeling Incomplete Without Love? It’s Time To Revisit Your Beliefs.

A simple yet powerful analogy to put things into perspective

Manj Bahra
7 min readSep 5, 2022

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Do you ever feel incomplete without love?

As a relationship coach, I talk to countless individuals from all walks of life. What continually strikes me is our societal obsession with finding love. More specifically, people obsess over the idea of a particular kind of love — one they consider to be true or adhere to some ideal they have in their mind.

Sadly, this pursuit heaps mountains of pressure and anxiety on well-intentioned individuals. The insatiable desire to find the person of their dreams naturally leads them to dating apps whose nature leads us to make quick decisions based on an artificial presentation.

What happens next is a familiar story. You choose based on your perceived type (look). You painfully recreate the same toxic situations repeatedly, often concluding that you are the reason these relationships don’t work and that you are broken or unlovable.

Why?

Would we be doing this if we weren’t so obsessed with romance and the idea of love?

Now, I want to be clear I’m not saying the desire for a loving relationship is bad. I’m questioning what makes us so consumed by it, to the point that we blindly go on dates and try to fit square pegs into round holes because the idea of being single is so terrifying we’d rather have something than nothing.

And so that brings us to a fundamental truth:

What really hurts people is their beliefs about love.

The primary culprit is this idea that you can find the perfect person who completes you and that you are not whole without them.

It’s a weed planted in all of us by a society that prioritises marriage and a set path towards perceived success. But more than that, it’s a lie we believe because we assume that all those people getting married are happy, and all those couples out for bottomless brunches are in perfect relationships.

The truth is a lot of relationships are based on fear, not love or authenticity. I see this every day in my coaching practice. Countless people are stuck in…

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Manj Bahra

Dating Coach | Helping Driven Individuals Break Patterns & Attract Their Dream Partner